Love is all around

LETIH. EXHAUSTED.

Kadang-kadang tu ja yang mampu kita katakan. Tons of work. Tapi syukuri nikmat tu. Biar mulut kadang membebel tapi hati cuba menerima sedikit demi sedikit. Biar payah, tapi semua tu pengalaman kehidupan.

Holiday looks like nothing. For sure for me it means rest. Saya baru saja siap buat passport antarabangsa Malaysia. Berbunyi macam teringin pergi jauh. Bunyi kecewa atau terasa ingin lari. Tapi sebenarnya tidak. Sekadar sehari dua di Brunei Darussalam. Bercuti? Mungkin sesuai juga. Atau sekadar kita katakan lawatan seketika.

SPBT. Pantun. Bahas. Teater. Kelas. Olahraga(Settle). TEST. What can I say? Enjoy dude. Everything gonna be fine. You know you are different from others. Just fuck that tons of work hardly. 

Get the hell out of here.

YOU. I need you.

D.R,T,I.E.

Hari-hari mahu bercerita pasal sekolah. Penat.

What is it?

Short update.

1. Usually I will update when there are lots of work need to be done in short time. Its not like I want to waste my time updating here and not doing my job. But I need something to make my bloody mind relax a bit.

2. Last holiday, I thought everything will be fine. But my prediction went wrong when I got tons of job. Next week I will attend TAKLIMAT BUKU TEKS. And I have to do the job alone. Damn. Stok buku pun belum kira lagi.

3. Next week Kejohanan Olahraga MSSD Lahad Datu at Desa Kencana. I thought I will be eliminated from the list. Once again I will be Manager of Under 18. Huhuhu...

4. Being homeroom teacher made me really tired. I have to do lots of extra work for them. And my class have 29+1 students. I mean plus 1, the other one not listed in my namelist.

5. I will handle Pantun also. I almost forgot about Pantun already. Huhuhu...

6. This week I will be teacher on duty. Pelajar-pelajarku sayang. Jangan la kamu sakit ya...

7. Hopefully everything will be fine. I love this situation if there is someone helping me. Thank you Allah...

U know who you are, wait for me.

BELACAN? TAPAI?

Sometimes we never intend to hurt people. But we already did, Don't blame the situation Just learn from it. You'll gain something from that.

I'm looking forward to every seconds in my life to ensure I am who I am.

For this time being, I'm on my way to finish reading TAPAI by Isham Rais. Kinda cool book. Talking about food all the time. Every chapter will discuss about life and the food at the same time. When you read it, you will find his love towards malay food are ultimate magnificiently fantastic. He teach his English Girlfriend eating sambal belacan. He proud with belacan. Quoting him, why must Western can be proud with their cheese and we are not proud with our belacan. Belacan is something different. We have tons and variety of belacan. Based on his journey around Peninsula Malaysia, he found so many variety belacan with different colour and taste. I'm suggesting this book to everyone to read it. But you have to remember that Isham Rais is someone who are not really religious person.

To you; I am no one to anyone. But I hope I am someone to you.

What the fish?

Hockey MSSD Lahad Datu done. As Team Manager I'm proud. My students showed a very good manner. Many people said they have a bit discipline problem here and there. Alhamdulillah. They're not that bad. Good job guys. Four of them were selected to join Lahad Datu Team for hockey Zon Tenggara. And I believe they can do it. Their level really up to my expectation.(I'm not putting high). By the way SMK Silabukan is the Champion for Hockey MSSD Lahad Datu Men Under 18.

Right after that competition ends, I went back home then taking bath. After I for sure rushed to the bus station. Took 6-7 hours in the bus before arrive at KK. Spending my holiday there. Its wonderful. Less sleeping to consume more time to enjoy. Yes worth.

Today first day after four days holiday. Not include those days I didn't have the chance to go to the class. The tempo getting slow a bit. I need to pump it back. Nice. Being honest, I love those works. Even my mouth keep mumbling like I dont like the job given, but deep down, I love to take tons of job.

To you. Thank you. Sorry kalau termarah. You know who you are.

News From Far

I start to love this situation.

I wrote this before I went to sleep. Sleepy. But I want puke something here. And yes here I am.

Monday till Wednesday Kejohanan Hoki MSSD Lahad Datu.

Malas la menulis. Upload gambar la.


YES. McD Lover.

Sis Dla, Me n Ijah(GF)

Magnetic Blink2

Janius.And Me.

Melinsung

Melinsung

One Borneo. Ignore my pants.

After interview. My luck shirt.

One B

Berbuka puasa.


I don't mind bad thing happen to me. But I do mind if I don't try to solve it.

Realising that we are not that good making us trying to be good everyday.Best is far to grab but we still try to reach it.

Story Behind Palm Tree.(Macam taik)

I start to love this situation.

I went out to school before sunrise. Its around 5.50 in the morning. Then it will takes around 20-30minutes on the road. Its kind of boring but for sure, more than three weeks here I still love the greenness of palm tree. My colleague said "Nanti kalau di flat guru kita akan nampak lautan," I asks him lautan apa? He answered, "lautan sawit."

Next week, Kejohanan Hoki MSSD Lahad Datu. SMK Silabukan will be the organizer. The thing that crossed my mind, harap-harap next week tidak hujan macam minggu ni.

GURU: Kenapa bawa ayam sabung ke sekolah ni? Kamu mau sabung ayam ka?
STUDENT: Tidak. Saya mau jual ayam ni. Tiada duit tambang mau pigi sekolah.

It really touch my heart. Unconsciously I said I want to be teacher. For sure I am a teacher. I don't know how far that fact will go. I'm trying everyday.

CNY around the corner. Happy CNY. I will be at KK on Thursday morning. Hopefully. I just want to be there. Don't ask me why. You know it.

Gaji? Thanks God. Selamat saya di sini. Debt? Call or text me if I still have debt with you guys.

TQ.

Fuck! I am not your slave. Slave of CAPITALISM.

Third week here. Its quite suffering. Well as novice teacher you will be given so many task to do. Multi-Task teacher. sometimes i feel like i want to say what the fuck!!! Then i think it back. This is for my own good.(Pujuk hati).

Actually I don't want to talk about work here. But what the hell... This is my site. Not yours. For sure while I'm writing this, I feel fucking annoying by someone. Terfikir juga, perempuan ni tidak sayang mulut ka? Hello0o0o0... You bring with you a title... Suci... Tapi mulut HARAMJADAH.

Got work to do. But I haven't start it yet. Sebab I hate working when someone forcing me.

Don't try to put mess over my head. I will put you to the fuck of life.


(SORRY for the vulgar)

Before New Year

Apa?Sedih?Marah? Kadang-kadang kita perlu rasa semua tu. Cemburu? Sakit dowh.

Membaca kisah lalu orang lain memang sakit. Tapi lebih menyakitkan kalau kisah lalu orang lain sebenarnya berkaitan dengan diri kita sendiri. Kita jadi bercampur baur. Tak tau nak rasa apa. Tiada daya. Tapi ingatlah, kita ada Dia.

Sabtu kembali ke Silabukan untuk menjalankan amanah sebagai guru. Mungkin berat. Tapi ini pilihan yang dibuat. Ahad mesyuarat staff. Isnin detik permulaan sebagai seorang GURU PERMULAAN. Novice Teacher

Aku merindu. Aku bersabar.

Silabukan. Tempat yang sesuai untuk aku menulis kembali. Tapi sayangnya internet connection macam haram. Ada jaring pun bukan boleh pakai. Tapi insya Allah aku akan mula menulis kembali.

24-26.12.2010 --> Jalan bersama dia dan keluarganya ke Keningau. Satu kenangan yang menggamit kenangan perasaan sebuah keluarga. And yes her mum and aunty are angel from heaven. I love them. Aku teringat mama.

Aku ni update saja di hujung tahun. Tidak tahu mau menulis topik apa sebenarnya. Mungkin aku boleh katakan Malaysia Boleh?

Oh ya. Baik aku update pasal macam mana kehidupan aku mula-mula melangkah ke dalam SMK Silabukan 27.12.2010. Kami sampai di sekolah lebih kurang 4 petang. Menunggu Penolong Kanan datang serahkan kunci rumah yang ada di kawasan sekolah tu. Agak semangat sebab ada rumah untuk berteduh. Berada di luar rumah mengundang seribu imaginasi biar pun nyamuk dengan rakusnya menyerbu kami. Maklumlah, nak jadi cikgu katakan. Kami masuk saja ke dalam rumah tersebut, aduh terkedu. Diam seribu bahasa. Ehehe... Suis karan yang hilang. Paip air yang tiada. Dan lantai rumah yang menunggu masa untuk roboh. Alhamdulillah ada jugak benda cantik di sana. Contohnya poster Italy dan Harry Potter yang bertampal di dinding. Yang lain? Hancus...

Nanti lagi I update ye... Kawan I tunggu I nak ronda Tawau...

?

Lahad Datu.

Bermula kisah sebagai seorang guru permulaan.

I will teach 2 classes form 4 and 2 classes form 3. And also one class for PJK.

Nothing to read.

Apa yang patut saya tulis. I want to write something. Like always. I don't know where to start.

Saya tulis benda ni sebagai salah satu assignment saya untuk kursus Literature and Gender. So setiap pelajar dikehendaki menulis cerpen yang berasaskan perasaan kita kepada sesiapa sahaja dan berkaitan dengan gender. Masa tu saya memilih untuk mengadaptasi kisah hidup saya ke atas kertas. Biar pun agak ringkas, tapi memberi seribu makna dalam hidup saya. Saya letakkan perenggan pertama dalam kisah ini.

Tanah kawasan perkuburan Islam itu basah disirami hujan malam tadi. Terdapat tinggalan bekas tapak kaki menuju ke dalam kawasan perkuburan. Dari jauh kelihatan seorang lelaki sedang berteleku di hadapan sebuah pusara. Kedengaran sayup-sayup lelaki itu sayu membaca surah Yasin. Titis-titis air mata mulai membasahi mata dan pipi lelaki itu. Selesai membaca surah Yasin, lelaki itu masih lagi berteleku di hadapan kubur sambil bergumam sendirian. Lelaki itu kelihatan derita menanggung rindu yang tidak kesampaian. Titis-titis air mata belum juga kering seperti titis hujan yang turun malam tadi.

Manusia. Unik. Saya sendiri cuba untuk berdiri sebagai seorang yang unik. Tidak di mata semua orang. Tapi saya tetap cuba untuk unik. Keunikan tu adalah sesuatu yang saya inginkan. Gay? I am not. Tapi saya hormat mereka. Playboy? Lagi jauh dari saya. Saya bukan manusia yang suka memainkan perasaan manusia lain. Apatah lagi untuk menghancurkan. Fragile? Yes, I am. Kadang-kadang orang tidak sedar. Tapi tidak mengapa. Saya tau saya ni bukan siapa-siapa untuk anda fikirkan. I am nobody. Saya lebih gemar untuk terus tersenyum dan ketawa. Saya suka untuk terus gembira. Saya suka untuk ceria. Kadang hakikatnya, jauh di dalam saya simpan luka.

Saya gembira. Saya ketawa. Saya mahu semua. Tamak. Tidak dapat tidak mengapa. Akan saya fikir kenapa.

Kata Mama.(Re-Publish)

Mama kata Mama datang masa konvo nanti.
Mama kata Mama bawa bunga.
Mama kata Mama nak jumpa kawan kita.
Mama kata Mama nak tengok tempat belajar kita.
Mama kata Mama nak ambil gambar dengan jubah kita.
Tapi Mama tak kata macam tu
Sebab Mama tiada
Itu semua hanya impian kita


-Kesakitan sebuah kerinduan-

Oldies

Terminal Feri Labuan.

Labuan Square.

Sipitang I think.

Tadika. My mama.

Mana satu saya?

Harry Potter? Nobita?

Ahaha.

Gambar passport.

I love the way you are.