WHAT IS THIS?

i feel everything inside my mind turn upside down...
got no one n no where i can talk...
only this blog hear my voice crying...
crying without tears...
everything mess inside mind...
heart beat fast...
like no tomorrow for me...
this crazy thing make me feel not like as usual...
got no guts to do thing...
i am a coward...
i hate myself being such a coward...
please...
god help me...
someone reading this entry please help me...
teach me to find the guts...
why this feeling come to me when i turn to 22...
come on...
don't let this stuff make me scare to love what i love...
don't let me throw away the thing i love away from my heart...
please...
i am begging you god...