Where should I born?

I have been thinking for this issue for a long time. It was related to my life. I was born in Labuan. An island with full with liquor and beer not forgotten cigarettes and chocolates(murah la tu maknanya). May be for someone love all of these stuff, they called Labuan as "The Hot Heaven"(mngkin la). But for me, I'm still trying to find some excitement. Not only entertainment but some activity enhancing the culture, art or anything else.(Honestly I'm trying to talk about art. Focussing on theatre)

I feel like I've born in a wrong place. Who knows what my heart say. I'm just feeling like fall in love to the art when I'm in love with reciting poem. Thanks to the Dr. Lim Swee Tin. His workshop make me feel this thing I want. But I'm also such a normal human being. I never feel satisfied for it. 

I'm trying to find something new. But I didn't where should I go or who should I refer to? When I'm in lower six, I'm trying something new for me. Even not for others, for me its yes. I combine poem@puisi and acting. I didn't know what we called it. Puisidra ka? Credit to Amuk "Aku Mau Pulang". Teachers congrats for what I've done. I still don't satisfied for what I've done. Still finding what I really want.

Now, I became one of UMS students. Proud of it? May be. Here I feel a little bit relieve. What I'm trying to say here, I learn something new. Something I can't gain in Labuan. I learn about theatre. Even it is not for a long time, but it is incredible. Thanks to Dr. Andika, Wak Khalid and some other names that supporting me. After involving not for a long time, its going down again. I don't even know why. Are this caused by the atmosphere in Sabah? Theatre were not so popular among the citizen here. Or lack of interest between students here. May be they just think theatre only for arts students. I feel like empty again. The same situation happen in Labuan.

Am I born in wrong place? Mistake in choosing the path of life? Wrong place to study? Or its just my problem. I didn't have courage to change into what I want (lack of knowledge). Or I didn't dare to go outside? I want to be brave like actor in "Dari Jemapoh ke Manchestee" by Hishamudin Rais (Very good movie for me. Hasnur ask me to watch it when we are in form 5. Thanx to Kak Lenny to make me remember it. Like I've read in some art activist, to read the movie we need other knowledge of life. This movie read as philosophy or braveness to change themselves). I wish I could make some change for myself.

- Hidup ini perlu berani. Kelak kita tidak merasa rugi -