Love makes a guy stronger than he thinks

(Someone help me, why the picture always rosak like this a?)

Its hard for me to deal with my life. I try to make it simple as I can. I don't keep it inside. But for sure it is essentially out of my hand to handle it. And I don't know what it is. It doesn't seem easy to tell. And yet, I don't have any solution.

I smile like always. I laugh loud as loud I did before. But I don't even know how far the honest go in my laugh. Its just go naturally. This thing is not only about I cry and I feel relieve. It is go beyond deep in bloody mind.

Yes I live depending on other people. Being specific, depending to the one I care and I love.

Sometimes, its just slip to my mind. I should let it go. But shame. it always keep coming. And I can't handle it. Sorry. Shame on me. I feel I can't live to the level I should. What the hell happen to me? I'm out of my mind by keep pushing. I try to make it cool. But I did it again.

I will always trying. And yes I think there is improvement. I will improve it again to avoid the life miserable. It is fine with me if I can make it to the level. I want the better way towards this situation. It is my fault.